Small Steps

Lately I have been not wanting to do a damn thing.  I don't know why and it bothers me.  I want to change my lifestyle in so many ways.. yet I don't even try to accomplish this. I think I may have been going about it in the wrong way...

It reminds me of being in school again and having to organize and have small goals that lead to major goals... you know like 3 big projects due in one week... well first figure out what your doing, then when you need each thing done, how many pages do you need to do for each, etc. etc... I was good at this in school.. which is why I usually ended up being the 'leader' of groups for class.  I forgot this mentality as motherhood inconspicuously took front stage.

Well.. enough of that!  I need to 'get back to myself' or rather merge the two.  Yes I need to be a mother and yes I thoroughly enjoy being a mother and yes lists can work great for being a mother.. but when I get off that list I just throw it away rather than re-organize.. you know when another professor throws in an early exam.  Deal with it and move on.

So here we are again life and goals.. I'm no longer looking at the 'big picture' but rather the small steps I must take to complete the picture.  So my goals of us eating healthy, losing weight, spending time together, money, and fixing up the house are gone!

It feels rather liberating!  I have been so concerned with these things that its put me in  a down mood for awhile.. and what gets done when you are in a poor mood for so long?  nothing!  So here's to changing attitudes!  As my last negative note in this post... it is irritating that I used to be able to be so calm and positive about most things.. even labor.. and now I'm so paranoid and worried about everything.. I need that part of me back.. without it hurting being a mom.

My deal to myself and my family.. enjoy the times we sit around and do nothing and eat on the couch/floor, and laugh when I see something in the house that needs replaced or fixed, savor every bite of my unhealthy food when I have it, look at myself and be happy that I have reached my pre-pregnancy weight.. even if the fat is in different places, and most of all look at all the material things we do have and not worry about those we don't. 

Small steps.. break things down..

New small goal for the week: drink more water.. seems reasonable.. maybe next week I'll change it to another goal.

Heres to enjoying life and all it gives you!