sleep deprived..

sleep.  a five letter word.  everyone needs it.  not everyone gets it. 

i used to go to bed after midnight and get up at 11am... then came Ella... goodbye sleep.

she was an amazing baby though and was sleeping 6-9hours straight every night by 7weeks!  i loved it.  i can live on less sleep.. obviously but man oh man i craved sleep and unfortunately even with sleeping in that long stretch I still didn't get more than 5 because of everything i had to do.. well decided i had to do.

eventually she started sleeping 10-12 hours a night.. 8-7 generally.  now this was amazing.  no other way to describe it.  amazing.  i was getting 8-9 hours a night again!  woohoo!  besides the random times she would get a cold.. but honestly it would only be a night maybe two that she wouldn't sleep that long.

then july hit.  all of a sudden.. she was waking up like 3-4 times a night or refusing to go to bed before 10 or getting up before 7!  july 7 or early morning on the 8th she woke up every 15minutes for over an hour and a half... 1am 115am 130am 145am etc.  she would fall asleep as soon as i picked her up but 15min later she would wake up!  low and behold.. the next morning she had 2 teeth!  ok got it.  no big deal.

except.. it didn't stop there.  sure it got better.. she was only waking up 2 maybe 3 times a night... and then there were maybe 4-5days of blissful full night of sleep. 

 guess what though!  it started again.... now i'm back down to less than 4-5hours a night because she wakes up as soon as i put her down... once an hour for 4 hours a night.  however she did get another tooth yesterday.. so heres hoping itll get better again.  but i hear teeth always come in pairs which means another should be here any day.

i love my sleep.  sleep is definitely in my top 5 things to do at the moment.  I just have to keep telling myself its not going to last forever and there is nothing you can do about it.  let her cry?  sure but it doesnt work.  rock her?  sure she loves it but then i dont get to sleep.  bring her into bed with me and michael?  ok.  we have tried this 2 times now and it has helped her sleep better.. but not us.  too paranoid something will happen to her when she is right next to me!  I even knocked over my glass of water next to the bed last night.. and it got all over my phone and the remote to the tv.. oops.

it just feels so horrible that i can't really do anything help her.. and it makes me angry at myself when i get frustrated because i'm tired.  but like i said.. it won't be forever.. take it as it comes.

heres to a good nights sleep!